Hispanic men are an interesting part of my culture. It is sometimes implied that most Hispanic men are gangsters, lazy, lack respect of women, and family. They are presumed to be "Macho men." But I feel that his assumption is quite contrary. Rudolfo Anya, explained it best in his story, "I'm the the King, The Macho Image."
Rudolfo Anaya explained that being "Machismo": was a learned behavior. He also explained that not all Hispanic men were mean, gangsters, and abusive. Many Hispanic men had a sense of value. They knew their place in the family. They were kings of their domain. They were men to be respected and admired.
As a Hispanic woman, and dealing with Hispanic men, I've learned first hand about their way of thinking. Rudolfo Anaya writes,
"The intangible of the macho image is that sense of honor. A man must be honorable, for himself and for his family...Hombrote also means providing for the family....They took care of the politics of the village, law and order, the church, the acequia, and the old people."
My father was one of these men. He demanded and commanded respect. He was very protective of us all. If anyone stood up to cause us harm, my father was there to verbally bash or use physical violence if necessary. Fortunately, my father most often chose peaceful ways to deal with problems. His way was, man to man. He was a man of his word. A male in the Hispanic culture that is a "man of his word," is very important and valuable. A man of his word is more valuable then a man who makes false promises or is untruthful. People in the Hispanic community have no respect for someone like that.
When I was growing up my father was sort of a macho man to a degree. He was the good kind of "Macho man." He was not a gangster or wife beater. He was always very hard working and very proud. He took very good care of his family. My father was the center of our family. He was in a word, "The king of his house." He often used words like, "Yo mando" (I rule). Every king has his castle, and my father's kingdom was our family.
When I was about 15 years old, my sisters and I were allowed to date. My father demanded that our dates properly knock on the door and ask us out. Our dates were also required to meet our parents and discuss their intentions. One late evening, our dates came to the house to take us dancing. The boys decided to stay in their car and honk. This action was unacceptable. My father was so angry that he flung the front door open and shouted,
"Oje Cavrones, mis hijas no son peros! Get out of that damn car and knock properly!" (My daughters are not dogs, jerks!).
The boys were so fearful of my father, that they promptly exited their vehicles and asked my father to forgive their rude and thoughtless behavior.
Another aspect of being a Hispanic man was making sure that your family was right with god. My father made sure to wake us all in time for church. He would flicker the lights off and on in the early morning hours and say,
"It's time to get up ! Time to go to church! Get up heathens!"
He often joked and laughed at us as we moaned and griped about getting out of bed. My father was also the teacher, along with my mother, who I felt was always very interesting in her late night speeches about life, literature, and education. But my father, taught me about the world and the people in it. He would often teach me what to look for in a good man. He would say,
"Tu necessitas darte valor." ( You need to give yourself value). "You don't value yourself enough. Make him fight for you. Make him prove to you that he loves you. Not with trinkets or money. But make him show you. A man who loves you will do anything for you. A man who loves you will prove to you that he loves you."
His words are edged in my heart as a permanent reminder of what I need to look for in a man. I find myself comparing date after date to this simple quote. My friends say that I want the perfect man, and that I will never find him. I know that I will. I won't take anything less.
The younger Hispanic males have much more pressure and stress then the females. For example, my father was hard on my little brother. He expected so much from him. He wanted my brother to be as aggressive and manly as he was. My father wanted my little brother who was three years younger then myself, to be a great hunter and fighter. He hated when my brother had sleep overs. he would say,
"Are you a Fe, Fe? Are you a girl? Why do you need some boy to spend the night with you?"
My father often said and implied, "Are you a fairy? Are you gay?"
My father was definitely homo phobic, but he really didn't have to worry. My brother was just a kind, loving, and fun human being. He grew up, hand five children, and married. My brother was lucky in some areas all he had to do is pick up trash and throw the trash once a week. The rest of us girls cleaned, cooked, ironed clothes, and washed. At supper time we always served my father first. He wanted fresh tortillas, fresh salsa, and gravy with every meal. My father never hand to get up to place his dish in the sink or get his second cup of coffee. We (my mom, sisters and I) always provided what he needed.
Being macho also meant taking your family on nice outings. We often went camping, fishing, hunting and traveled. My father loved to take pictures. He really had an eye for beauty. He would take vibrant pictures of flowers, fish, and statues. The pictures that my father took, I often thought belonged in a museum.
Another thing that was not always accepted in my household was men. If my father was not home, we were expected to inform them that he was not in and that they must return later. It didn't matter if the person visiting was an uncle, cousin, or friend of the his our ours. We were not allowed to wear shorts outside of the house, no clothes that were too revealing. And there was always a curfew. My fathers' rule was, in the house by nine and no parties unless he officially checked them out.
A husband was also expected to make more money then his wife. This is a very powerful macho image. I remember when I was about 7 years old, my father worked as a Welder. He was very proud of his work and the money he made. he would pass out $20.00 dollars bills when we were kids, like it was nothing. At that time that was a hunk a change. I remember feeling like my family was rich. Then my father hurt his back and became a School Bus Driver and my mother became an RN. That was a bitter pill for my father to swallow. I loved him anyway. It didn't matter to me if my father made a dollar or a million dollars. But it mattered to him.
Hispanic men should also take care of their mother. There was no one more devoted to his mom then my dad. He really took good care of her. And of course he was her favorite. He was loyal, giving, and caring. He took Grandma Esperanza shopping and to eat at restaurants; always just a phone call away.
The writer Rudolfo Anya, had a good sense and idea of what is was to be a Hispanic male. To some extent. young Hispanic males in this day and age have a lot to learn from the old Hispanic men. I miss the men of honor, men with a sense of responsibility and leadership. To quote Rudolfo Anaya again, "The intangible of the macho image is that sense of honor. A man must be honorable, for himself and for his family."
I don't feel that all Hispanic men are gangsters. That's just a stereotype. I can only hope and pray that the real leaders of our Hispanic culture will stand tall. My hope is that someday they will teach the younger generation to be more like them. We still need our old traditions and ways of living. I am thankful that many Hispanic men are getting an education and through education some bad behaviors are being eliminated.
Overall what I learned from my father, who is a very traditional Hispanic man, is that I like being with a man who can protect me and take good care of me. A man who is not afraid of hard work or going to church is always a plus. I could do without the verbally abusive, physically abusive, and womanizing man. I prefer a man who is educated. I prefer a man who is not afraid to teach me what he knows and not make me feel stupid for asking. I don't want to be a slave to a man. I do respect men in their right to be the kings of their castle. But as queen I want to rule too, within reason.
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (C) 2010
All rights reserved
Reference:
Rudolfo Anaya - "I'm The King" The Macho Image
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Most of the stories were meant to keep young people away from bars and late night dancing. This story was meant to keep the young men and women, safe and out of harms way. Away from anyone that may seduce them and take away their virtue.
In the story "The Devil Dances", written by Jose Limone; the devil is described as a handsome Anglo man with blond hair. He represents the desires of Hispanic woman in those days. They wanted wealth and status. They even wanted light-skinned, blond haired, and blue -eyed children. Therefore a blond Anglo man that seduces a Hispanic woman was a great threat to the the Hispanic men of the community. 
To conclude, the devil seems to represent something that is not readily accepted by society or culture. He represents sins, evil, communism in some countries and perhaps a threat to the current generation. Just as the writer Jose Limon wrote, "In this respect he is less a fold figure then in South American and more, yet again, Like the dancing, modernist figure indebted to the past but open and available as a flexible and critical tool for reading and critically evaluating a threatening present"
